happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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