She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
