highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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