at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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