She's JV to your varsity
Quick, to the slutcave!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I would ride that face into the sunset
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
