nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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