sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
