He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
