she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
