worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Is it because I queefed?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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