At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize