I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
