You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
