Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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