sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
