Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
