you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
