maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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