I have demons in me.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
