dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
