Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
