Pappa wants mamma naked
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
