STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
