I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
