your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
