No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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