every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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