Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
