you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
