So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
