I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
