Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I am midnight drunk by noon
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
