Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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