i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
