Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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