pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
