Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My ATM looks so different sober.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
