i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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