i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
