please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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