i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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