I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
