as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
