You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
