I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
