your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
