that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
