I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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