there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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