It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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